Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
