xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
