My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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