And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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