Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
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