omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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