After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
