North Korea, Best Korea!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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