Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I wish there were birth control emojis
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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