Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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