Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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