So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
