I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
