I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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