seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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