we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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