If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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