I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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