I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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