i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize