oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
