do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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