your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
