Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
