so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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