i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
