absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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