My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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