We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
