I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
