I hate your face
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
