She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
