So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
