If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
