he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
