Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
