; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
