my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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