Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
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