Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
