your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
