i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
