i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
