Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize