"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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