How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
