I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
