Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
