she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
