I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
