we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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