he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize