That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
