I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
