You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
