Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
How external is "for external use only"?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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