I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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