Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
