I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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