you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Randomize
