There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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