I wannas sexs uuuuu
That's intense
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
