I wanna bring you to show and tell
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
