No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you traded sex for a burrito?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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