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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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