dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There's always time for handjobs
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
