My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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