YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
