u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
