He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
how drunk are you?
Several
as a side note pls kill me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
